Mark Beaumont Heralds Nuclear Armageddon

Again apologies for the tardy updating but I have been busy and slightly injured.

Cycling sprocket injury
It was just a pair of new socks aswell.

 

Ok, it is not really a life or death injury but it certainly leaked enough of the red stuff to ruin my new socks.

 

So whilst I have been away I have finished writing a book, which is great, you should read it, I have been working on Poetry Bikes, including designs for an adventure/gravel frame called the Corso, I have moaned about the weather, carried on hating press fit bottom brackets, basically I have just carried on being the badass that I think I am.

 

Today Mark Beaumont announced he is going to cycle around the world in 80 days, I like what he has done there. Although I do not think he is doing for book name reasons, I think he has just realized we will finally be plunged into armageddon in 80 days time. Might as well see the world before a nuclear blast welds your corneas to the back of your head.

 

If that sounds bleak, well, that is because it is, that also does not mean it is false, though. I also think nuclear armageddon is preferable to having to see this bike again.

 

 

Ventum Tri Bike

 

I do enjoy that the design brief of the Ventum One Signature Edition was basically a cheap kids bike that melted whilst sitting beside a heater.

 

Like all terrible looking bikes it has been designed for triathletes, I like how this has become marketing speak for ‘How did we ever let this design get through,  we will never sell one. Ah, triathletes you say.’ The endless money pit of terrible taste.

 

Even the saddle seems to loathe being on the bike and just wants to die, poor saddle.

 

Did you see all the April Fools cycling jokes, probably better if you didn’t? Proof that some people can not do humor even if it is only for one day a year.

 

 

Fi'zi:k r1 disc bike shoe

 

 

The fi’zi:k R1Disc shoe, so funny I nearly laughed, thankfully Bikerumor has you covered on why the bike trade is a terrible place to work.

 

After a little look at Bikerumor, I moved over to Bikeradar and ended up wondering if anybody actually bothers reading their poorly written advertorials anymore? I can not even bring myself to hyperlink to the site, it just makes me sad and not want to like cycling anymore.

 

I was wondering if this made me old and is it now that cycling is a culture I no longer understand. I then realized it is just that they are trying to hit all those key marketing demographics. The whole site looks like it was put together by Neil Patel and his band of internet marketing gurus.

 

It is too sanitary, too clean and just does not make me want to stay there very long. In internet language, I bounced straight off that place. It just wants to be the Apple store of bike literature.

 

I really prefer my bike sites to be a load more Fred Dibnah.

 

Fred

 

 

 

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