Why I decided to end it all

Life is always a struggle. Every day you try your best and most days it just turns out not to be enough.

I have reached a point I have been at before.

I have reached a point where living with someone who taunted any OCD I had as a joke. A person who when I was struggling with life, tried to make me believe that all my life I had worked in a Greggs so as to confuse my current grasp on reality.

A person who spent hours telling me how she could never love me and then later tell me how much she loved me when she wanted things done. A person who I was going to break up with the week before I found out she was pregnant, I struggled with how to break up with her as she constantly told me we were not an item but would call or text whenever she wanted or needed me.

A person who kept telling me that all she wanted to be was a single parent. A person who whenever my daughter and I did things or had I was having fun with her, would have to find a way to belittle me, to the point where I did not want to do anything with my daughter as the forthcoming argument would push me to the brink, time and time again. At least she did once admit she was a monster to me as she wanted to be this single parent and remove me from the house and our daughter.

A time when I should have left a job I hated but carried on as it seemed the way to make her love me was to have money and also I needed somewhere to hide. The problem was every laugh, joke, smile was fake, I had to be someone else when I was at work, I could not be me.

I had to withdraw from friends and people. Any idea of happiness would later be punished by her. I had to hide away and now I have nothing and my daughter is used as a bargaining chip by her to get her way. I will not have my daughter used in this way and as such, I have decided I only have one option left.

Domestic abuse does not only happen to women

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